


Plastic Love

by Paidendryl



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Fluff and Angst, I don't want to get too spoiley, M/M, Other, Slow Burn, Tags will be updated as needed, Yup you read that right, but I'm in a mood, i plan on making this angsty as heck bro, marriage at first sight au, mature themes, this is a stupid au that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24368176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paidendryl/pseuds/Paidendryl
Summary: The Spider: Anthony, more popularly known by his stage name Angel Dust,  doesn’t believe much in love, nor does he believe in the idea that there is someone who will ever truly love him. To him, love doesn’t exist. Because of this, he is challenged by his close friend and confidant, Cherri, who introduces him to an experiment that will make him question his very beliefs.The Radio Host- Alastor has reached a slumped in his life, finding that the things he usually enjoys have turned bland and old. There’s no joy or excitement in the life he currently lives and he desperately seeks to rectify that. A chance glimpse at a commercial introducing an experiment for those trying to find love sparks an interest and he wants to do nothing more than to prove those believers wrong. With an opportunity to get his pep back, he agrees to apply if only to watch those so desperate for affection crumble to the deepest pit of despair as they realize it is a futile dream they can never have.But as fate would have it, there is nothing that universe won’t do to derail the truths you hold so dear.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Plastic Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would not leave me alone.

Angel’s suit was tight and choking. That was his first initial thought as he looked in the mirror. It was a tailored suit, a soft white to symbol that he would be the bride in this scenario attached with a blush pink tie. His entire ensemble was made of the finest Italian silk money could buy.

Or at least some dumb bimbo with enough money to feed starving children but instead using it to create an experiment.

He gave a wry chuckle to himself as he posed in the mirror, checking himself out from all angles and realizing just how much of a catch he actually was. His dirty blonde hair was brushed to the side, a few curls sticking out here and there enough so that they added to his charm instead of looking like a disheveled mess. He had curled his lashes and applied mascara on them so they popped out more and even went the extra mile to contour his face a bit, making his nose seem smaller and face narrower.

He sighed again and looked away from his reflection, taking a moment to peek at the alarm clock on his bedside table. The car picking him up would be there in less than five minutes and pretty soon his life would change. He wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to, but there was no use backing out now. He had made a bet with his favorite girl buddy, Cherri, who was a long time coworker friend of his and he would be damned if he backed out now.

Fixing his tie one last time, Angel turned away from the mirror and took in another deep breath, urging his beating heart and racing nerves to settle.

He was getting married today.

And to someone he had never _even met_.

**\- - -**

“So this little mic thingy goes _here_?”

At the confirming nod, Angel clipped the small microphone onto the inside of his shirt near his collar bone. It felt a little weird, the small contraption seeming to weigh heavily against him for some reason. He shrugged it off as just the last remnants of his nerves trying to get him freaked out. It wouldn’t do for him to have a panic attack on TV after all. Once he felt ready enough and heard the cameraman clear his throat to signal they were starting to roll, he looked up and did his best to keep his cool.

He was sitting in a makeshift therapist office, the walls were a calming blue that reminded him of the nearby beach by his early childhood home in Italy before he moved down to New York. He glanced at the dark oak desk in front of him and then to the picture above the chair. It was a beautiful woman with bright blue eyes and brighter blonde hair that was cut short at the time and curled. She wore a dazzling smile, her eyes seeming to radiate with _so much_ light and love. She stood in the middle between another good looking man and woman but that was all he got to look at before the door to the room opened and in walked that lady from the photo, only her hair was longer and held together by a hair-tie near the bottom of it. She wore a matching white and red suit jacket and skirt, black heels clicking against the tile floor and eyes still as vibrant as the picture’s. Angel felt awkward as he sat on the couch in the room, unsure if whether he should stand or sit. Luckily, the lady seemed to notice his hesitance and smiled in a reassuring manner. She was beautiful and if Angel swung in that direction he was sure he’d be flirting with her nonstop. But he didn’t and he wasn’t even sure that would be possible given the reason he was sitting there in the first place.

He fiddled with his fingers, suddenly feeling underdressed in his short shorts and loose bright pink off the shoulder shirt. He began to wonder if maybe he should’ve done a little more with his hair instead of leaving it to be its curly, windblown mess. He swallowed as she took her seat and placed a manila folder down on the shiny surface of the desk.

“Hello,” she smiled, and Angel noticed she had dimples, “It’s a pleasure to be officially meeting you Mr. Benigni, I’m-,”

“You can call me Angel,” he quickly interrupted before immediately flushing with regret, “I-I’m so sorry-!”

But the lady simply smiled and waved him off, picking up a pen from her pencil holder and jotting down his preferred name, “It’s no trouble, Angel!” She assured, “I’m Dr. Charlotte Magne, but you can just call me Charlie. I’m one of the ‘ _love_ ’ experts here on this show as well as the producer and host.”

Angel gave a quiet sigh of relief, glad he hadn’t immediately fucked this up. But it still didn’t make him feel any better though knowing that she was literally the maker of this shitshow. He half wanted to back out and say this was a mistake, he shouldn’t even be here, but he made it this far and forced himself to stay sitting.

“Nice meeting ya, toots,” he said, “I got to meet the other experts. They said they wanted to know more about me to be able to find a better match.”

Charlie nodded, “Yes indeedy!” She beamed, “Here at the Happy Marriage Hotel we go all the way down to the nitty-gritty details in order to ensure that these eight weeks will run smoothly and hopefully lead to a long and happy marriage!”

He almost wanted to gag and scoff. She was way too naïve about how the real world works. He almost had half the mind to tell her what he really thought, but his bet back to Cherri kept him grounded. He just had to survive and then he was in the clear.

“You see, Angel,” Charlie ventured on, “I believe that everyone here has the opportunity to find love and be with someone! As humans, we really aren’t meant to be by ourselves. It’s in our nature, ya know?” She said, “I also firmly believe that love does conquer all and that it isn’t just some silly thing invented. I believe that love is a _choice_. People don’t ‘fall in love’,” she began, and that made Angel raise an eyebrow, “but rather we can _choose_ to love that person we want to be with and hopefully as these next eight weeks pass, you’ll be able to see that too.”

Angel fought back an eye roll as he saw the excitement already growing in her eyes. She was far too kind and innocent. Angel knew that love wasn’t a blessing but rather a curse that kept you from excelling on your own. It was a permanent stain that either complimented you and made you feel on a lasting high or ruined you and tore you down to the bone. And Angel knew just how well it could damage you. It was partly why he didn’t really believe in this bogus crap. He hardly paid attention to it and hardly even yearned for it. Of course, he did once-upon-a-time, but that was in the past and he didn’t care enough to look back.

“So Angel,” Charlie began, breaking his train of thought, “Tell me why you’re here.”

He blinked, taken aback by that question. Not even the other experts asked him that question which made him wonder if perhaps Charlie could see right through him. He stared at her, trying to decipher what she was thinking and feeling. But her happy smile and eyes revealed nothing but warmth and curiosity and Angel looked away.

“Well,” he began, a bit unsure and scratching the back of his neck, “I want to get married.” Good, he thought to himself, keep it short and sweet.

Charlie chuckled and nodded, “I know that. Everyone here wants to get married. But why do _you_ want to? What made you come here?”

He had no idea how to answer that. Really, this was just a stupid decision made on a drunken whim that Cherri had started because she wanted to win a stupid bet. He really should’ve said no at first, but for some reason, his drunken-self had agreed to it and he woke up the next day with a splitting headache and an email attachment confirming that his application had been received. He nearly killed Cherri when she came over, but only held out because she had appealed to his competitive nature.

But now he was at a loss for what to say. What _was_ his reason? _Why_ had his drunken self said yes? Why had he even come? He had the option to back out, so why didn’t he?

_Pride_ , he reasoned, _I’m too damn stubborn and prideful for my own good_.

“To be honest Charlie, I was drunk when I did this,” he said, deciding he could be somewhat truthful with her and that perhaps maybe if he was, he’d be removed from the show and therefore wouldn’t count as him wussing out, “My friend Cherri and I had gone out for drinks after my shift and we got wasted. I remember we saw a commercial trailer or something about this show looking for applicants and…I guess a part of me wanted to try.”

“Try for what? Is there something specific you’re looking for?”

Was there?

“I…I’m not sure.”

Charlie continued to eye him and the minutes ticked by slowly. Angel could feel his face heating up from feeling uncomfortable. Should he have said more? Did he say enough? What was she thinking? Would she flat out deny him?

“Ya know, Angel,” Charlie began, “I don’t usually come across people like you,” she said, carefully and slowly, as though she were thinking of her words before speaking, “And it’s not a bad thing. In fact, it makes me elated! Most people come in here with a drawn out plan and expectations for _who_ they want their spouse to be and the type of person they want to be with. But the people who come looking without a purpose, but still have one all the same, are the ones who end up finding what is it they need.”

Angel nodded slowly, leaning forward a bit in his seat, “What do you think I’m looking for?” He asked. Charlie gave a small secretive smile.

“I don’t know, Angel. What _are_ you looking for?”

Another tense silence went by before Charlie pulled out a small stack of papers and Angel was glad for the distraction.

“Now, I am a doctor in psychology. Both mental and emotional. The first two you met were for social and marriage counseling. We’re meant to see the kind of person you _truly_ are and find someone who will not only compliment it but uplift it and love it. As you talk with me, I’m here to see where you are at emotionally and what it is you’re looking for and need and want.”

“So you guys have been psychoanalyzing me?” He asked, a bit perturbed.

“You could say that. But in order to help you find the relationship you’re looking for and that someone you want, then we need to see who you are.”

“Fair enough,” he said with a shrug, “Ask away.”

Charlie hummed and nodded before asking her questions, “We’ll start with the standard and basic ones first; age, sexual orientation, hobbies and interests.”

“Well, I’m 28, Gay and _proud_ , and I love dancing and cooking. My interests would include sleeping- _both_ kinds, and partying.”

Charlie wrote that down and nodded, “Off to a great start. What kind of parties are you into?”

Angel snickered and crossed his legs, sitting back in his seat, “Not the kind your daddy would approve of, I’m sure,” he grinned. Charlie paused a moment, before shaking her head with a terse smile that quickly straightened out into her normal one.

“Alright, we’ll go more into that later,” she mumbled, then she looked up at him, “These will be a bit personal, are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Are you sexually active?”

Angel grinned, hungry and suggestive, “Ya know it, babe,” he said with a wink and finger guns.

“Do you have a preferred type? What would you say is the type of person you go for?”

He shrugged, “Anything really. I work as a fulltime stripper so I have an arsenal of Johns to pick from. As long as they got a big dick, can give it good, and can keep me screaming, I’m game.”

Charlie’s cheeks grew a bit red from the explicit remark and it seemed like _she_ was the one who suddenly felt uncomfortable by the questions, “Right…well, do you do repeats?”

He shook his head, wagging his index finger, “Never. I never do the same man twice. It’s a rule I like to have.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly, “Oh? Why’s that?”

“Too messy. Sex is a _very_ intimate thing, Charlie, regardless of what some people might think. Sure you can get a nasty and fun sexy romp, and you can have loveless sex and hate sex or whatever sex you want to call it with someone that may seem like neither of you have gotten close. But you if you sleep with the same person long enough, you can’t help but get unwanted desires. And I’d prefer not getting any emotional attachments.”

“From yourself?” She asked. Angel shook his head.

“No. From them.”

“So you’re afraid of emotional intimacy?” She asked and Angel suddenly felt tense. Why’d he have to let something like that slip up? Fuck, he was an idiot.

“I wouldn’t say afraid,” he sighed, looking up at the ceiling, “But just unsure? You give yourself to one person and they can easily throw you away.”

She gave him a sad frown, “Is that what happened to you?”

He scoffed, and a bitter look crossed his face, “No. But I know what it is I deserve and what I can’t have. Love’s never been an easy thing for me. In fact, dating has never been my thing either.”

He suddenly felt a shift in himself and his good mood had turned sour. Love was never an easy topic for him and it always came with intrusive thoughts and self-hate. He could always recall the many nights he cried over his loneliness when he was a teen going into his early twenties. He could recall the heartaches from always being the one to yearn but never receive, a look but no touch person. He hated being reminded of it and couldn’t help the upset frown on his face.

“To be completely honest, I guess I figured that if no one wants to choose me freely, I just have to force them. It’s fucked up, but who would want a broken toy?”

A hushed silence fell between them and Angel knew that he had let some of his true colors unfold. But if she really _wanted_ to see who he truly was and who they were going to deal with, then he should let her have a taste. Charlie however made no effort of trying to linger on that topic or dissuade him from thinking so negatively-which he was thankful for, the last thing he wanted was for someone to discount his personal emotions and try to change them.

**\- - -**

Truth be told, after his session with Charlie, Angel was sure he’d never be called back on set again. He had shown how he felt about love in general and doubted that Charlie wanted that to be something the audience would see. Besides, he had a reputation to uphold and it wouldn’t do if people knew that he was a basket case full of depressed thoughts instead of the confident, sexual star he was.

Two weeks had passed before he had gotten a phone call during his break. He almost broke down from the relief he felt washing over him as the person on the phone told him he’d been accepted and that they got a match.

**\- - -**

Cue a month full of preparation and outfit deciding and planning, and now here he was, walking out of his dingy apartment with his many luggage bags and locking the door to begin his new life as a married man. His suit still weighed heavily, but the butterflies were there.

As he climbed into the black sedan car, Angel began to wonder just who was the man he had been paired with to marry. What would he be like? Was he tall? Was he cute or handsome? Did he have freckles?

He could feel his body shaking as he got closer to the destination. He’d be getting married in just a little under an hour and he was impatient and nervous as ever. Angel only hoped that these next weeks wouldn’t emotionally damage him any further. He hoped that he would not live to regret this.

The car came to a stop in front of a large banquet hall center. The outside of it was surrounded by an abundance of trees and flowers of all sorts. He could see people moving inside the building as well as walking in and out. He saw his friend Cherri walking alongside his sister and mother. He swallowed as the car came to a full halt.

Was this really happening? Could he really do this?

He glanced to the side and saw the cameramen filming the area and was thankful that they weren’t filming him directly. He wasn’t sure he wanted the world to see him almost full blown panicking.

He was beginning to think this was a mistake and he was wondering if it would be such a bad thing walking up to Cherri and calling off the bet entirely. Really, what kind of friend bets the other to apply onto a show where you _have to legally marry_ a person you _just_ met?! It was fucking ridiculous and stupid! He should’ve said no when they called!

He took in a deep breath and came to the resolution that yes, he would call off the bet and end this whole thing. Embarrassment and pride be damned, Angel still had his dignity and wanted to keep it! He opened the car door and made to stomp out and march over to call it all off, but as he was about to, his eyes caught the figure of a tall and slender man walking towards the glass double doors. He paused just outside and took a moment to look down at his watch. He seemed nervous, probably just as nervous as Angel felt and the blonde felt himself calm a bit.

The man dressed in a rich black, classic wedding suit turned and Angel had thought that perhaps he had caught him staring. But he didn’t care in that moment because the moment Angel saw his light, reddish-brown eyes, he felt something spark. The man was handsome, with a heart-shaped face and light brown hair styled to the left. He was smiling, a close-lipped smile but it was sweet in a weird sort of way and it made Angel’s heart flutter a little. There was no doubt that that stranger was the groom he would be marrying today and the man felt he would be okay with.

He was easy on the eyes and appealing in a way where Angel wanted to undress him _immediately_ , but at the same time he wanted to savor him in a suit because _hot damn_ he was took fucking gorgeous for his own good.

Feeling not so nervous any more, he waited until the man had gone inside before leaving the car. He gave a quick thanks to the driver and closed the door.

It was sunny that day and a cool, light breeze was blowing every few seconds. Angel made his way to the door and with shaky hands, grasped the handles and opened it. Immediate cool air met his skin in a refreshing manner and he was greeted immediately by Charlie and the other two counselors there. The social doctor went by Vaggie, as Charlie had reintroduced her and the second doctor was a tall, thin man named Dr. Pentious. They all greeted him with encouraging smiles and asked how he was feeling. Angel said he felt better and it was true. Compared to how nervous he was before, he felt somewhat intrigued and curious of the other.

As the organ began to play and everyone was instructed to take a seat, Angel felt his mind clear and his heart beating calmly. He held a bouquet of red, white, and pink flower assortments and stood patiently behind the closed chapel doors. It felt like forever before they were opened and revealed him, standing with a smile on his face.

The man at the alter made no noticeable expression, but Angel could’ve sworn he saw his smile grow bit more. His heart fluttered at the thought and he forced himself to keep a level head. He passed by Cherri and his family and saw her give him a knowing and suggestive smirk. He laughed internally and inwardly rolled his eyes as he walked to the alter place, guided by Charlie who was squeezing his hand assuring. She seemed pleased by this and almost proud of the choice made and as they reached their spot and she pulled away, she looked at Angel with a confidant smile.

“I’m so excited for you two,” She had whispered to him. Angel felt himself confused as to why she seemed so overly friendly towards him. Not that he minded, but it he thought it weird by how supportive she was being and how eager she was to see this play out. Was it really that big of a deal? He watched after her as she took her seat and gave a thumbs up at him. He nodded and turned to face his would-be companion.

Fucking hell the man was even perfect up close. Angel could now see that he did indeed have some soft freckles along his skin and from what little he could see of his neck, he _knew_ that there were freckles to be found in other places. He couldn’t wait to discover that. The man stared for a moment as though he were drinking Angel in and assessing him. He felt judged under his stare and wondered if he was really as appealing as he had previously thought. But he had little to worry about before he noticed that the man was smiling with renewed strength and his eyes seemed to light up with a hidden emotion. He gave an approving nod and a world breaking smile as he met Angel’s eyes. Angel didn’t fail to notice that he was a good three inches taller than him.

“Hello there my dear,” the man greeted, and Angel liked the sound of his voice. It wasn’t loud and grainy like most of the men he met with and it wasn’t too deep or monotone. Rather it was playful, teasing, and firm.

“Hey ya sugar,” Angel greeted back with a soft purr. The man stiffened a bit but it was gone in an instant and the bride of the two figured it was just in his head.

“My name’s Alastor, a pleasure,” the man continued on, voice a whisper as the priest began to speak. Angel smiled.

“Name’s Angel.”

“ _Dearly beloved we are brought together…_ ” the priest began.

The man raised his eyebrows, a bit surprised by his name before a pleased smile rested on his face, “You look absolutely beautiful, Angel,” he said before facing the priest. Angel’s cheeks heated up and he faced forward quickly, throat and mouth suddenly feeling dry.

Angel wished he could’ve been able to pay better attention to what was going on, but his mind was racing and his heart was beating faster. His hand was shaking as he held his hand out for Alastor to place a simple, gold band around his ring finger before he followed the same. He took note of how soft Alastor’s hand was and wanted to feel them more. He let go once he slid the silver band on his finger and went back to face the front, thoughts racing even more urgently.

“…take this man to be your lawfully husband, through sickness and health, better or worse, rich or poor, and till death do you part?” Angel heard the priest ask, looking at Alastor. The tall man beside him answered immediately.

“Yes, I do.”

Angel’s stomach did a flip and another blush swept across his cheeks and down his neck. The priest turned to him and asked him the same thing. He took in a deep breath, hands tightening around the bouquet stems. This was it, he thought to himself and suddenly found himself feeling scared. So many things were going to change, so much would happen. He was going in this blind and doing the exact opposite of what he had ever planned on doing with his life. He had never thought he’d get married, much less do it on TV. He took one last glance at Alastor, as though drawing in reassurance from him. The man, feeling his eyes on him, turned and met his blue ones. His lips curled even more upwards and he seemed to be encouraging Angel on. The blonde felt his mouth moving automatically.

“I do,” he finally managed.

The priest nodded and grinned, “I pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss,” he said. Angel nearly did a double take as he forgot they would seal this marriage with a kiss. He let out a sputtered breath and looked at Alastor almost warily. He would’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of it since he had no problem kissing random men, but it felt different here. It felt real and he was past the point of no return.

Alastor turned to face him, another strange look in his eyes before he was suddenly invading Angel’s space. The blonde felt nervous and tense as Alastor wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. How was he so calm about this?!

“ _Just breathe_ ,” His new husband’s voice whispered into his ear, “We can make it a quick pick, yes?”

He felt his breathing slow down and his hands weren’t crushing the flowers he held. He gave a small nod and leaned into Alastor’s touch more, his hand left flames in their wake from where they touched him. Alastor’s nose brushed against his own and their breaths mingled a moment before the space was quickly closed. Angel felt himself being dipped back just slightly as Alastor’s lips pressed warmly against his own. He felt as though electricity was coursing through his lips to his veins and he felt fueled by it. He pressed further in, giving his all into the kiss.

He felt and heard Alastor’s breath come out in a surprise huff and he stiffened a moment. The people in the audience gave their cheers of congratulations and it was enough to get them both to pull back. Angel felt like a wreck and hoped Alastor felt the same. The man smiled widely and took hold of his hand.

“Here’s to a married life!” Alastor laughed and Angel joined in.

“Hope you came prepared hot stuff,” he grinned back, “I’m not an easy boy to tie down.”

A hint of excitement and interest lit up in Alastor’s eyes and he gave a sly smirk, “I should hope not,” he nodded before leading him down the aisle to begin their reception.

Angel was beginning to think he made a pretty good decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what to put here. I watched one episode of Marriage at First Sight on Netflix with a friend and I got hit with inspiration. I've been dealing with a lot lately and love and marriage play a huge part of this. After seeing that episode, I felt inspired and well, let's hope this doesn't blow up in my face, right?
> 
> If you enjoyed this please feel free to drop a comment! They are my bread and butter and help to inspire me to release the next chapters faster! So don't feel afraid to share your thoughts and opinions with me, I treasure them all and adore each one! Let me know what you think is in store and how you feel about this story so far!
> 
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